Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
