Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
