wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
