Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
