so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
