There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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