I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
