we have officially lost it.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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