he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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