Yo dont text me then not text me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
