Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
