ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
