grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
