My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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