things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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