someone get that fucking seahorse.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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