Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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