All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
