If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
