Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
