can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
