Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
