As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
