I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
