ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
