Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
