This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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