i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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