he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
