at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
