Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
