in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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