So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
