Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
