Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
