Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
