The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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