Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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