his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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