Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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