After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
