Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
