he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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