i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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