For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
