So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
