I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
