am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
