I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
