Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
